Cover by Michael James Emberger
“Yes you will absolutely be reborn, yes you will rebuild something more beautiful than before, but essentially a death took place in that moment and that is irreversible…”
-a Survivor
It is an honor and a privilege to be an ally to a survivor of sexual assault. She allows you close to her pain and you help her heal—with no expectations on her. It’s not a commitment to enter lightly.
If Jesus has burdened your heart for a survivor, but you don’t know what to do, start with this book. It will take work, prayer, and patience, but she’s worth it.
The book has four main sections:
1) What it means to be a survivor.
2) What it means to be an ally.
3) How to be an ally.
4) Reach out to her.
My intent is to break your heart and prepare you to be the ally your survivor friend needs. You will learn about the crime, read four other books (listed below), and then, with your friend’s permission, you’ll write a series of letters meant to encourage her and build an allyship. It’s a process designed around her, her needs, and her safety.
And who am I, you ask? I’m no one special, but God used my friendship with a survivor to call me to this work. I’ve had the privilege of getting to know many more, and their voices are found all through this text.
This book is priced at no profit to me. My hope is to encourage men to get involved in allyship and advocacy.
Required reading:
Know My Name, by Chanel Miller.
What Is a Girl Worth?: My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth About Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics, by Rachael Denhollander.
Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church, by Diane Langberg.
Believed, by Michael James Emberger.
Free Audiobook!
Believe Her is available as a free audiobook produced by award-winning narrator, Kristina Rothe. She brings the book to audio with empathy and respect for the survivors’ voices she portrays.
Available FREE from: Google Play, Apple Books, Scribd, Libro.FM, Spotify, Nook Audiobooks, Storytel, Kobo/Walmart, Chirp.
Available for purchase from: Audible, Amazon
Or download the free PDF file to read: Download PDF
Reviews and Endorsements
“Believe Her illustrates a good representation of a survivor’s experience and provides a unique perspective from an ally.
I’ve asked the questions before of “Why don’t men care more?”, “Why do they try to act like it’s not a big deal?”, “Why are there no men in classes about sexual assault prevention?”
And most importantly…
“Why is it always women trying to fix the problem when 99% of rapists are men?”
But then I thought about what has made me the most angry over time. Almost every time I’ve heard a rape or sexual violence being “casually” discussed in detail, it has always been with other women.
It was while doing makeup when the details of unwanted sexual attempts came up. It was at a dining hall that girls would divulge waking up realizing a man had intercourse with their unconscious body. It was in a room full of girls that a third stood up when asked if they had been assaulted and no one bats an eye.
How could I expect men to be as angry when they are being pushed to the sidelines? I’m not excusing men but if they could get a look into any one of these rooms, maybe they would be quicker to call out other men.
The author of Believe Her has stepped up to the plate. He elevates survivor voices as well and you’ll find a list of resources in his book.”
— Alexis Albro, Trauma-Informed Coach & Founder of Survivor Rising
“I highly recommend and encourage the sharing of this book with men in your family, work, and life. Their support and understanding are the only ways men can come close to helping with the healing process.”
— Audiobookreviewer.com
“Emberger shares the needs of victims and survivors and guides the ally into pushing outside their own comfort zone to care about another's. He masterfully weaves known survivor stories/quotes into his book, giving readers a haunting vision that speaks volumes on the importance to learning the path to helping others heal.”
— Cherokee, online review
“The book is reassuring to women and any survivor that it’s not the victim’s fault and the blame lays with the perpetrators. Consent is always required. And boldly, Michael calls out the church and how they need to stand up and love these women and support them as Jesus would.”
— T.R. Prouty, author
“The non-religious of us may shy away from this book, however I myself am non-religious and just listened to the whole thing. It has its religious parts but they are few and far between. This book focuses solely on how to help survivors as men and what we can do and not do. It was incredibly helpful and I absolutely recommend it to anyone who may need guidance on this topic.”
— Adam, online review