Writing and Worry
Worry over the Coronavirus pandemic hit me for the first time in a significant way yesterday. It’s easy to view it as a troubling but fascinating distraction to life when you don’t know anyone who is sick, you have your own health, your family, your job, and your routines. It’s another of those things that only happens to other people on the news, and you can laugh at the funny memes and posts about toilet paper on social media… But, this is real.
New Hampshire finally enacted a stay-at-home order that took effect yesterday. I had the day off. I was supposed to be traveling north for an event, though that had been canceled already with social-distancing in mind. Reality began to sink in. The news has not been good. People have been losing jobs, getting sick, dying. What if those things happened to me? My company is “essential,” but is my job secure? Contacts on social media have begun posting about illness and loss. There is nothing funny about this to them, and their stories could just as well be mine. The future is unknown. There is a lot to worry about.
Then I thought about the main character in the new novel I’m writing. I won’t go into detail that reveals the plot, but she is dealing with a life situation that appears hopeless. I’ll share an excerpt. She is attending a Christmas Eve candlelight service.
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“Silent night, holy night…” They were on the last verse. She gazed into the flame of her candle. It flickered in the currents of the room, and a stream of melted wax built a column on one side that neared the paper holder.
“Son of God, love’s pure light…” She closed her eyes, letting the melody surround her. She was crying, but not because of her problems at work.
“Radiant beams from thy holy face…” Her tears were those of joy.
“With the dawn of redeeming grace…” Joy, because she realized that no matter what was going on with the (villain), or her apartment, or her bank account…
“Jesus, Lord, at thy birth…” Or her parents’ (business), or the (related) industry…
“Jesus, Lord, at thy birth!” She would be okay. She was surrounded by people who cared about her. Her family loved her. And most of all, the Jesus they sang of was the same Jesus to whom she’d given a place in her heart long ago. He was so much bigger than her problems, and He would never leave her. She had needed a reminder of that, and she’d been given it here in this little town so far from the people and places she knew.
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I wrote those words several weeks ago, before this pandemic was a concern. In my writing, I expect my characters to realize things like this when they face hard times. It often takes them a while to remember that God is in control, and I think as I write that it’s too easy to forget that sometimes. Well, it is too easy to forget that sometimes. It happened to me yesterday. I got caught up in the what-if’s and worries so easily. It was kind of funny that my own character reminded me to turn that worry over to God.
Writing can seem like a fun hobby with little real significance to life, but the hours we spend exploring thoughts and emotions for our characters are not wholly separate from how we view the world and engage our own struggles. My protagonist taught me a valuable lesson yesterday. I’m thankful to her for that, and I pray that God will work in this current situation to bring us all through. Do I know what life will look like tomorrow, or next week, or next year? Of course not, but I do know what God looks like always.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7